overocea: (Default)
Japan has a bunch of cultural phenomena that I am pretty miserable do not have counterparts in Australia. Surely any one of these would be immensely successful in Brisbane:
  • Onsen. My favourite part of my Japan trip was the ~48 hours spent moving from one enormous bath to another slightly different (temperature, minerals, setting) enormous bath, getting massages (or sitting in massage chairs watching movies/sleeping), drinking beer & eating food & watching performances & playing bishi bashi. There is a Korean bath house in the Gabba that Storm and I used to go to but it is a bit clinical and spartan and just has one warm bath and one cool.
  • Big giant multi-level internet cafes where you can browse or game or watch movies or read manga or sleep all night in the pods whilst doing all of the above and eating free ice cream.
  • Cat cafes. I would TOTALLY pay per fifteen minute allotments to cuddle and play with kittens.
In other news, Girl 1 moved into my apartment. Girl 3 decided to go to Paris instead, and lots of other people came through to look but I didn't particularly like any of them.

Currently I am reading (among other things) Pleasure by David J Linden. In it he mentions a study where obese and thin young women were put in a brain scanner while sipping chocolate milkshakes. They found that the obese women showed significantly less activation of pleasure centres in the brain ("blunted pleasure").. BUT when looking at the brain response when they were about to get the milkshake, the obese women showed greater activation. So they anticipated (craved) more reward but actually received less. Why is life so mean?

I have terrible vertigo today.. I was disturbed by it all last night whilst rolling about in my sleep. What does it mean? Pick one of a) inner ear infection or b) brain tumour. ...or c) Skyrim.

spare oom

Mar. 8th, 2012 08:32 pm
overocea: (Default)
So, Storm moved out of the apartment and I now have a spare room. I've been unable to find anyone I know who wants it, so I posted an ad on Gumtree. So much anxiety, though. The rent's pretty expensive, what if no one wants to pay so much? What if no one can stand sharing an apartment with 150 My Little Ponies? What if everyone on Gumtree becomes a mad killer at the slightest provocation, e.g. upon observing 150 my little ponies all at once?

I've had a bunch of responses, including a whole bunch of callers who hang up as soon as I answer, wtf. Of the genuine replies, one was a 45 year old weightlifting guy (ew), one was two guys (??), one was a lady with a 3 year old daughter (she'd destroy my ponies. it's what kids do), one was a guy who obviously had copied&pasted the same msg to everyone advertising because it just didn't fit my ad, etc. Three responses I was especially hopeful about, so I invited them 'round to inspect and chat. They were all women around my age.

Girl 1. Moved to Australia from Afghanistan about 6 months ago, and is newly in Brisbane. She had dimples. I pretty much adored her on sight. She was very cheerful and slightly awkward (e.g. giggling nervously when I hadn't really said anything funny), which was just endearing. She seemed very eager about the room, however we clearly didn't have much in common. She also mentioned she's hoping to move to the US in three or so months, which isn't a big deal, but neither is it ideal.

Girl 2. Recently broke up with her long term partner. Slight European accent. Really, really liked the room, but was disappointed there was no communal outdoor area. Seemed disturbed by the ponies. Said she was unsure about the room, as she wanted to live somewhere very social. Well, I said, I can be social, and am on weekends, but like space to myself most of the time. She said, "I'd probably be lonely, then." TOO NEEDY.

Girl 3. I can't remember why she's moving... which is probably because I was just immediately so smitten by her (in a completely platonic way). We had lots in common, and she was very easy to chat to, bar one or two brief awkward silences that probably only occurred because we spent so much time hanging out and talking about irrelevant stuff like why cats are weird and Game of Thrones and internet dating when we'd only just met. She loved the apartment (AND the ponies) and the cats and I LOVE HER AND HOPE SHE MOVES IN.

I told her I have one more person looking tomorrow and that I'd message her after that... but I already know I want her as my housemate please.

I hope it all works out!
overocea: (Default)
I'm hanging out with [livejournal.com profile] darkentropy and [livejournal.com profile] cluckfuster on my loungeroom floor with fuzzy blankets & big cushions, warm lighting, atmospheric muse sicks and super sweet white wine. Oh, and lots of chocolate. Guppy is curled up between us, and has a preference for deep touch. I agree with her that deep touch is satisfying, but there is something orgasmic about light touch as well. I go both ways.

We've talked about communal parenting, communal relationshipping. Sharing resources, time, and love :)
We've talked about journalling, and LiveJournal, and read each other's journals, and other people's journal entries about me. haha.
We're wondering if it's sex if there are no mouths, no fingers/hands, no undressing.. but grinding and orgasms. My vote is yes, that counts. I don't think that orgasming alone can be counted as sex though; there needs be another person involved. Storm disagrees.

Soon we'll start some editing.. after we go to the bottleshop for moar wines, which we're about to do right now. It's just really cold out there, although.. I can smoke. k I'll deal.

A three day week doesn't mean I HAVE to drink every other night, you know.

Also, I'm moving out. I looked at a place last night and it was pretty swish, although the room was small. It did have a private balcony though. And the apartment had a huge rooftop area in which I could have some pretty awesome parties. I'm just not sure I could live with two professional late-twenties women who go to the gym twice a week. I'll keep looking.

I'd really rather live by myself, but would have to live too far out of town to afford it. I think I would much prefer to live central and deal with housemates. Perhaps. I guess I'm lucky in that I don't have to rush.. although I kind of want to...

"Okay I'm done. How can I end this journal entry on a high note?"
"Um, Marie is here?"
"Okay say something funny Marie."
"Bitches be crazy."
overocea: (Default)
I got a new job as a face-to-face counsellor. do you realise what this means?
no more pink asymmetrical hair.

which further means I MUST to learn to drive before I start work (21st April) so that I can have pink asymmetrical hair on my driver's license. but I don't really think it is very likely because... I haven't actually ever driven before except one time when I was 16, oh but I rode around a sugar cane field on a moped once and crashed it into a ditch and broke it.

I am 20something(?) and haven't learnt to drive because I disagree with car culture. you know, I get the bus to work every day, and zoom past (on the busway) the parking lot desert of a highway stretching 30?km out of the city and? EVERY SINGLE CAR HAS ONE PERSON IN IT. if cars were outlawed for personal use public transport would rock and there would be much more room for flowers than bitumen and air than carbon monoxide. but secretly also I am scared to drive, and to be in control of a speeding 1500 kilogram hunk of metal. I typed "how much does a car weigh" into google to be able to write that.

also I am going to Cairns on Monday for a couple weeks.
also I am going to Supanova pop culture expo this weekend. HOW GEEKY.
also here is a painting I did several years ago. I can't believe I am even posting it as I find it so very embarrassingly awful:

overocea: (please)
I last updated exactly half a year ago. Facebook has made me lazy.. it requires no thought and minimal consideration. arrr.

I've been making lots of clothes with fabric bought from ebay 'cause Brisbane has no fabric that isn't hideously boring, or just hideous.

Come to see Infected Mushroom with us on February 23rd please.

Today is my only day off for the week and I am spending it nakedly simultaneously watching Samurai Jack and playing laptoppy computer games. and typing here random things I think of throughout. and meeting people later for pounds and pounds of coffee. Yes, pounds.
's working too much :<

I don't tell my livejournal private things like I did 7 years ago, when there was no one I knew personally who read it. Maybe that's why I don't use it anymore. I'm an exhibitionist unless it's at people I have to deal with on a week-to-month basis. You know.. when the world rests on your head/in your bed, and you feel like a deeply loved goldfish.

My fish are deeply loved.. the first half of my day off was spent transferring them out of their slightly leaky tank into a brand new one.

Last night, walking home from work, I passed under a railway bridge (the lights were orange, stared eagerly at suspicious shadows), and smelt sparklers. You know? What is that smell, what are sparklers made of? I heard loud bangs, and vividly imagined the bridge crumbling, plundering my noggin.. or perhaps just as I emerged from under it, spinning around in shocked disbelief, heartbeat, calling triple 0, trembling "there could be people, cars, me, under there..." Then racing home for my camera.

Ah, yeah I am loved... more than I love.

Anyone who reads this, post a comment and hit Ctrl+V, and nothing else. Just paste what's in your clipboard:

62% reported having been raped in prostitution.
73% reported having experienced physical assault in prostitution.
72% were currently or formerly homeless.
92% stated that they wanted to escape prostitution immediately.
Farley, M., Baral, I., Kiremire, M., & Sezgin, U. (1998). Prostitution in five countries: Violence and posttraumatic stress disorder. Feminism & Psychology, 8 (4), 405-426.

haha that was unexpected. SEE? IT'S FUN.
overocea: (please)
Um, so. Today I went to the beach and my bikini bottom was nearly swept away 45086 times. For some reason my body insists on a size M top and size S bottom. THANKS, BODY.


I went to the Gold Coast Big Day Out and had lots of strange and hilarious pictures taken of me.

Next weekend I am going camping. I've never been camping. I am scared of alien abductions and spiders that live underground and come out to jump on birds and eat them.

In several weeks I am going to Thailand and Malaysia for a holiday. I am trying to save money to buy lots of sweatshop clothing etc. but it doesn't work. My money hates to be saved and I hate to be cruel to it.

Like, I want to buy a tatty second hand wedding dress of yellowed lace and chiffon and embroidered baby's breath to wear to do the grocery shopping and whatnot, twirling the whole time like that whiney oh-so-fresh-faced girl from Legend. yeah. DON'T PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

I have an extended family of pets to be looked after while I am gone but can't work up the nerve to ask anybody to do it because I fear it is too huge a job. Oh, my pets. I have three rats and two cats and three aquariums full of fish who I think I love most of all. I can send the cats to people but need someone to housesit the rest, I guess...

I want to grow my hair super long so I can fly with it like Supergirl's cape, but I also want to bleach it over & over so I can dye it colours. I can't do both. What do I do?

Now on the top of the list for my new last name is Peril. Jessica Peril. OH YES.

Also, even though I am about to sign off and go home, add overtlie@hotmail.com to your MSN so I can chat you up while I am bored and brainless at work please kthx I love you byebye ¯\(º o)/¯
overocea: (Default)
i'm moving in a week, hurrah! to a house in th gabba with a fireplace! fireplace yay!

meanwhile i'm having to let people wander through my current very private personal home to inspect it. not only that, there are pictures of it on th internets.

hey. STOP LOOKING AT MY STUFF. omg everyone can see my dirty dishes and what kind of deoderant I use. :(

also: I have myspace! ohnoes, but I have no friends. does anyone who uses livejournal go all overkill &use myspace too? I do because I sit bored at computers all night at work. if anyone else does tell me so I can add you and pretend I am popular. NOW.
overocea: (Default)
Things to do once I've finished my degree, TUESDAY!
  • Buy that $240 skirt I SIMPLY MUST HAVE IT despite its $240ness.
  • Breed my prettie crowntail fighters so they have lots of prettie crowntail fighter babies.
  • Go to Ikea to buy a cabinet to build a superduper penthouse for my rattie Bean.
    • Find Bean a rattie friend!
      • I'm watching him try to haul a whole slice of bread into his cage. OMG THE CUTENESS
  • FIND SOMEWHERE TO LIVE that isn't $300 a week for just little old me. and my million pets. I would like to stay in or near Coorparoo, or a not-frightfully-expensive inner West somewhere. Or anywhere near public transport, I guess.
  • Visit Cairns for Sarah-bear's birthday.
  • Learn to drive! Maybe.
  • Make a new webdesign site.
  • Dye my hair some outgrageously funn colour.
  • Go to Lab4 & Critical Mass & Earthcore & Cat Empire! yay!
  • Get stoned and have zombie boardgame & movie night with [livejournal.com profile] bird_e and as many people we can con into coming. yay X 8sideways!

anyway. back to my last ever assignment:

This disorder has been found to be relatively resistant to treatment, which is thought to be due to the ego syntonic nature of its characteristics. The traits which are targeted for change are so pervasive and unconscious that the patient usually does not see them as a problem, and instead will place the blame on external sources. As a result of this, patients rarely present voluntarily for treatment, instead usually being treated involuntarily, having been referred by an employer, family member or, most often, the courts. They therefore generally lack motivation to change as well as insight into the need to change. Further, psychotherapy is based on a therapeutic alliance with the therapist, in which an empathic and trusting interpersonal connection is critical. Such a relationship is difficult to establish with a patient who is dishonest, lacking in empathy and exhibits only shallow affect and intimacy. Thus few psychotherapies have been found to be effective in treating the disorder.


overocea: (dared)
out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
and I eat men like air

so! classes start this week.
...prompting the cessation of thought.

every now and then I become overwhelmed with the desire to cut everyone I know out my life. and everyone I don't. but I think I adore everyone I don't know a little bit more. like when strawberries taste like dust. teeny tiny flakes of skin and dead cockroach.

fairy floss & fairy bread
sulci and gyri
myopic rods and blue cones
prop open my spinal gateway

I am terrified of my own sclera

ain't it funny, that
pale-faced captivation could be
coupled with a bleak mouth, funereal

like when people on ICQ expect me to answer their black&white "wanna chat?"s

past creations generally have this talent for making me cringe. sometimes I can bring myself to recreate them.

the most adorable thing in the world is a yawning numbat. if you ever see it you'll know instantly why.

I made my nanna a website. get married. it is fun.

I can't pay my rent. I should be slightly concerned. instead I sway and giggle.
modest mouse make me smile.

edit: when Felon stalks geckos and sparrows and houseflies she does this very weird vibratey thing with her mouth. i've never seen any other cat do it (and i've seen lots of stalky cats). I call it rattling. well I shriek it rattling. I mean it fills me with so much glee to see her do it because it's so cute that I scream "she's rattling!!"

anyway? I just learned it has a name, and an evolutionary explanation! I am slightly thrilled.

k, it's 4am, if i'm not asleep within the hour i'll suffocate myself to get there, dammit.
overocea: (Default)
I have been thinking so much.

My next relationship will be quite normal and healthy, I think. Involving not moving in or getting married within the first week, not desperate or obsessive, not so sweep away romantic, so gorged on each other we waste away from the rest of life, etc.

ah. but can I help myself? I have sweep-away-romantic, obsessive tendencies, and am attracted to, seem to attract, others with them also.

It would be much easier to go back to my super-independent, prefers to be alone/never gets lonely old self. What happened to her?

Well. Today I am going up to top-of-mountain Atherton to have devonshire coffee over a crater-lake. hurrah!

Also. Love my pretty black kittens so much I want to be one too:


or at least have eyes that glow and shoot people blind.
overocea: (Default)
I really, really need to _____. I am horribly frustrated.
HORRIBLY. and miserable. I wish I could be ragingly furious instead. ooo.

well I just got off the phone with Dennis.
I talk to him at least twice, thrice per day. if, for some reason, I don't answer my phone(s), he rings and rings them both until I do, leaving 10-20 messages. and SMSs. and emails. and comments on my livejournal. and messages on my friends' phones asking if they know where I am. and messages on my mumm's phone asking if she's spoken to me recently. etc.
okay he's only done those last few once or twice.

see, i'm his best friend. the only one who understands etc. the only one to whom he's completely opened up and poured etc. the love of his etc.
I broke up with him three+ months ago. sat cross legged, straight faced, empty chested, closed mouthed while he cried his fluttering, splattering heart all over the hardwood floor about his life now having no etc. thinking it'll be over soon. all this pandering. all this gentle petting. all this him.

but, but, but.

I was due to go to Cairns tomorrow, as I do 2-4 times per year. he lives in Cairns, now. he had all kinds of marvellous, best-friendly adventures planned for us, i'm sure. because when I tentatively informed him i'd had to push my flight back to next Monday for various uni-involved reasons, we had a minor repeat of the fluttering, splattering heart incident over the phone. but, see, it wasn't just that i'd be a week late. it was that I was annoyed at him for transferring $120 into my bank account so I could change the flight, again, to four days earlier. it was that, for some apparently insane and selfish reason, I just refused to do it.

"why would I?" I say. "you're not even my partner. you're just a friend. why should I move my flight ahead four measly days for you? there's no reason to. it's unnecessarily absurd. etc."

surely that is a sound argument, i'm thinking. surely it is reasonable.

because, although surely it is enough, it is not all!
the thing is... I do have selfish reasons for not doing it. selfish reasons i'm not telling him about. because what he doesn't know won't hurt him. and because i've promised him I won't <quote>see</unquote> anybody until after my trip to Cairns.

Friday night a semi-friend (as friendly as they get, to me) is having a costume housewarming rave, rave, rave.
and the crush of my life (read: crush of my present) will be there.
I have diabolical plans to spirit him to some dark corner and make him my night-long prey. either that or I have plans to gaze and mutely blush, etc.

sigh sigh.
I am evil. just so everyone knows.

now. I have 1,500 words to write by tomorrow.
and $20 worth of junk food to consume while doing so.
excuse me.
overocea: (i'm an unbutterflie girl)
so i'm wondering what the fuck is up with drycleaners lovingly caressing muculent looking stains? it's not like it could possibly be anything anyone would want to touch.

me: *dumps a pile of disgusting clothes on the bench*
little old drycleaner lady: *goes through them till she finds the most disgusting article of the lot* oh, look, stains! what happened here, then? *picks at an encrusted glob of goop*
me: ... hello? THAT'S VOMIT.
little old drycleaner lady: *yanks hand away in horror* oh! okay then. well, what about this? this isn't vomit! *pick pick pick*
me: um, yeah. THAT'S SEMEN.

meanwhile, a mystery someone just ordered me a paid-for surprise pizza, yay! MUAH!

no doubt to enforce a break during mad-essay writing. ahh. well i've just started (thus the livejournaling...). it was due yesterday, but Sarah & Hawkins stopped to visit on their way to the snow, and ended up distracting me for two whole days. and last night i'd the worst hayfever evar. I went miserably to bed at 8:pm, forestalling all my plans of intoxicated wonder :<


oh, essay, yes yes. i'm not sleeping till it's done.
overocea: (Default)
still waking up with permanence at 4am or earlier, despite th time AT WHICH I go to bed. but it's gorgeous, earliest morning, when even witches are dead to th world. i've coffee, crunchynut cornflakes, wrapped in a blanket under a heater with ren&stimpy, my house glowing from every eye. I feel lucky. I feel i've promise.

4hours later: I feel an idiot. I vaguely recalled one of my thesis group mentioning we were meeting at 9am rather than 11. so am at uni, on time, except that was LAST WEEK. we DID meet at 9. and this week we are meeting as usual at 11. sigh.

3hours later: what is wrong with me today? I feel so dissatisfied. I feel wrong. I feel lonely. I want desperately to bump into someone I know. I want to gorge. I want to drink. I want to smoke. I want to fuck. I want to run. I don't know what I want.. but it's something. and right now. I want it.

ugh! i'm so frustrated. dissatisfied. wrong.
I could leap out my skin.
I could scream out my lungs.
I feel like I need to be saved.

p.s. waking up in the early hours unable to go back to sleep is a SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION.

4hours later: I must think of him more than he thinks of me.

I don't know! because, well.. he couldn't guess how often I think of him. so.. I can't.. guess...

on the surface, uh, from an alien point of view, it would seem he thinks of me. more. most of our contact is him-initiated.
but that's true of my contact with anyone!
it's just so often..

but I can't guess how often he thinks of me.
I hope it's heaps.

this isn't healthy.
I seem to have a habit for unhealthy relationships.

but this one!.. confuses me.
I have to stop thinking about it.

livejournal addendum: if you're one of the many! who could be reading this thinking it may be about you: i'll never te-ell.

I just realised how many! of you could have thought. wow. i'm in a lot of unhealthy relationships at the moment! yay! and I love you all. :D

lol I suck.

rich text

Apr. 9th, 2006 10:41 pm
overocea: (follow my fishie)
the last few days i've been blackly low, interspersed with flashes of improbable high. I don't understand why.

Thursday: got drunk & played scrabble.

Friday: spent the day wandering the city, spending money with a shovel & spade. i've a definite city-routine: starting at the myer centre I have sushi train, go sit out in the mall to watch and/or photograph people, wander the streets a bit, shoppe (1. book shoppes, 2. toy shoppes, 3. second-hand shoppes, 4. music shoppes, 5. possible ankle-length skirt shoppes), procure a) a boost juice or b) a starbuck & safari the botanical gardens till I find a nice splay-spot where I a) read, b) write or c) watch people some more. I then walk to south bank where if i'm not exhausted I visit a) the museum, b) the art gallery, c) the library and/or d) the markets (if it's a weekend) after which I will be exhausted so buss home.

Saturday: made Dennis take me garage saling, yay! it's amazing how many garage sales there are in my area Saturday mornings.. just driving random suburban streets you'll pass dozens. I bought a rather cute "nursery wardrobe" for $20. previously my clothes had been hanging from a broomstick wedged up in the bedroom-corner. well, some of them. the rest were in three other wardrobes. ahem.

Sunday: on previous days i'd woken as usually vivrely.. i'm usually motivated in the morning & full of wonderous plans. today, however I woke low, & stayed low. spent the day moping & avoiding interaction. but! did get my mannequin base-coated:


now just need to decide how to colour her..

& went to see ice age 2, which entertained me, but not so well as th first one. & oh, I need to see march of the penguins.

crack out

Nov. 16th, 2004 11:27 am
overocea: (andromeda)
I get spams with subjects like "they're light-minded," "his closed eyelids," "the moonlight melted," "his confidence will ooze out if this situation does not olden," "satisfy blackburn denotative as any necrotic a nobody," "It's a fine aggregation, I assure you" and "skip the solid earth, and land lower down than I intended."

well, I did make them slightly prettier.

eyes perpetually squinted shut against the blast of sight
oh &! mouth perpetually open, just in case. well closing it may mean preventing the escape of some lovely utterance.
just in case I blow out.

I am studying. I am.
overocea: (i'm an unbutterflie girl)
I have moved too Brisbane and Griffith University. in one week I will dissect a human brain. tooday is my mother's birthday.

my 2004 calendar is woeful! i've nothing too say for months.

one year ago: I can't help it, i'm a dread-head;
two years ago: anymore my brain's gone tough
three years ago: i'm talking to the aliens in my brain.
four years ago: behead the twelve white roses in the garden.

1. if I could fly I could fall from unimaginable height.
2. I need as many lungs as a tree needs leaves.
3. if i'd been born blind i'd think everyone was lying.
4. oh i wish, I wish I could have a nightmare. desperate but unsuccessful attempts at running, screaming but nothing comes out! it's right behind me, it's sucking me in, I know it's there but I can't see it, I can't move!
5. I retract everything i've ever said.
6. well, you can say whatever you like, as long as you touch me every ten minutes or so, or not object if I touch you every two!
7. how do you know sound exists?
8. too many people live in their mouths. but! everyone has a whole LIFE!
9. it's ok, I don't mind, if you want, it's up to you (antipathy, boredom, contempt, disdain).
10. listen, if you could just
pull up, plug up, overflow, undergo, go.
i'll pretend I never was until I never am.

just don't bother,
and don't bother me.

now is time to look away:



Jun. 11th, 2003 03:44 pm
overocea: (I feel mightie)
livejournal. I haven't had anything to say to you, lately. I find you strange & despicable. maybe 'cause i'm sick, but you know, I doubt it. probably because I haven't had anything to say (fullstop). you know! went to the doctor again & she said I either have a virus or a brain tumour. I wonder if I get to choose. here is something I wrote down weeks & weeks ago:

people who are constantly sick are usually sad, generally sad. all the invalid mothers who die young aren't loved by their husbands; all the sickly, weak & undersized children aren't loved by their mothers. people who die from cancer have repressed negativity, probably throughout their entire lives! if I could step into the day & heave a giant breath of sunsparkling air, throw my shoulders back & everything off them!

I never finished the thought. the current one is that I probably won't be updating. indefinitely.
overocea: (Default)
I do stupid things like call people "my darling dear" and constantly flatter & profess my adoration for them, not realising that they can't know I do the same with everyone, that they think i'm giving them special attention & must want to have their babies. the fact is, the people I would actually weep miserably for if they were to die I don't really do those things with. someone said that makes me shallow.

what do I care what someone said?
overocea: (Default)
it really wasn't supposed to be attacking her at all.. but embracing! that's what dozens of arms are for!
if I start to go mad.. I hope someone will tell me.

1. supercilious. far away from you. for a reason.
2. indifferent. any one will only knock at my door so many times before giving up & going a way to knock on some one else's.
3. purposely distracted. novels, movies, restaurants, vodka, reruns, study, sleep, a million kinds of pills.

won't taunt people with each other.
[will not cry in public//less chance of illness]

instead of writing my essay I drank a bottle of vodka & woke up to this in my notepad, minus about 99% because geez, the stuff you write when drunk:
first thoughts
trying to think of names
florence, venice, rome
I would go to Alexandria of all places if I had to choose right now
but I haven't been to enough to choose where i'd retire

about ten years/days ago i'd been crying. I can't remember why. but I was all alone, and cats don't know when you're sad even if stuffed spiders do, because stuffed spiders can't move or speak but they can blink once in a black & blue moon, just to let you know that if you happen to cry one day they'll know, and you're free to smother & drown them. when he knocked at the door everything that'd been on his face a second ago fell off it and the first thing he said was "are you okay?" but he didn't ask what was wrong, even when I didn't answer, he just kissed my face a million times, & all that was in my head was "sorry." ten minutes later, travelling behind two beams of light slower than they were every time i'd go to speak all that'd come out was a breath, & then a whole heap of them at once so I couldn't breathe at all

by the way. i'm sick of shampoo. want real poo.
[the universe is shaped exactly like the earth]

& it rather pisses me off when stupid australians & americans say "i'm never going to have a baby, 'cause the world's overpopulated anyway," & then use starving ethiopians as an example. but you stupid twits don't know what you're talking about, 'cause your population is declining. DECLINING. not having a baby isn't going to mean some starving ethiopian baby is going to get your nonexistent baby's share of overly artificially sweetened & gruesomely coloured cereal. so unless you're going to adopt a starving ethiopian baby, shut up.
if I was sober i'm sure i'd have a worthwhile argument. or no argument at all. I don't recall ever having arguments while sober.

this is an afterthought:
fucking people over

no subject

Mar. 25th, 2003 07:02 pm
overocea: (Default)
I know my right wing from wrong



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