lysergic lethargic
Apr. 1st, 2008 05:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
overoceaSomething I wrote in an email a little while ago:
Sugarcubes tend to magnify one's personality flaws. This is something one notices in others, of course, but usually not oneself. Well, in the days prior to said party I had been dwelling a bit on the improbability of the accuracy of self-knowledge a bit. So I observed the flaws that were magnified in myself, and disliked them.
Personality flaws I must overcome:
Negativity: I make continuous negative, cynical comments. They are most often jokes, my humour is sarcastic, and amusing, sure! but the unfailing negativity of it is unecessary. My nature is a negative one, of course I cannot realistic decide to "overcome" that (if I wanted to, that is), but can definitely refrain from tainting every remark I make with it...
Detachment: On meeting someone new I often exaggerate my indifference, communicate a vague disinterest in the person, remain remote and mysterious. Why? Schizoid airs aside, I think it may be so that if they end up disliking me, they'll never know I care. Of course this is a behaviour that is only going to increase the chances they'll dislike me anyway..! People like to be liked. There are people I like. I should communicate it more.
That's all. Only two flaws? Well, only two that I've picked out.
"It's very rare to find genuine self-knowledge. It's almost as if you need someone else to tell you who you are, or to hold up a mirror for you."
So I could ask someone who knows me quite well my flaws. But... I'm scared they would have some to tell me. I don't really want to hear it.
The party was lovelie, I liked everyone there.. but I don't know how I feel about sugarcubes anymore. Well.. it's bound to not affect a negative person in a positive way, right? It just makes me so awkward, so enormously uncomfortable.
Then again, maybe I just need to eat more.. biscuits with it next time.
I've noticed very recently that I slightly dislike a reasonably significant proportion of all humanity! Generally people I consider boring, or not genuine.. you know, they're sweetly nice to a person regardless of how they feel about them, which I understand is necessary at times, but... the thought makes me uncomfortable. Nodding and smiling pleasantly when someone is droning on about a subject you're completely disinterested in, or when you've something important to attend to, or when you feel like punching them in the face because you hate the way they mispronounce empathic... wouldn't you rather know if the person you were talking to felt that way?A few days after writing it I.. ate some sugarcubes. Oh, we had a sugarcube party, there are photos that other people took:
Working in counselling I've come to place huge importance on genuineness... it's been drilled into my skull: a vital component of a therapeutic relationship, and I seem to have transferred that to everyday life. Well, good! Except that I do seem to offend people more often. Several people have said they admire it, speaking my mind, in the same sentence as saying that it may rub people the wrong way.
Sugarcubes tend to magnify one's personality flaws. This is something one notices in others, of course, but usually not oneself. Well, in the days prior to said party I had been dwelling a bit on the improbability of the accuracy of self-knowledge a bit. So I observed the flaws that were magnified in myself, and disliked them.
Personality flaws I must overcome:
Negativity: I make continuous negative, cynical comments. They are most often jokes, my humour is sarcastic, and amusing, sure! but the unfailing negativity of it is unecessary. My nature is a negative one, of course I cannot realistic decide to "overcome" that (if I wanted to, that is), but can definitely refrain from tainting every remark I make with it...
Detachment: On meeting someone new I often exaggerate my indifference, communicate a vague disinterest in the person, remain remote and mysterious. Why? Schizoid airs aside, I think it may be so that if they end up disliking me, they'll never know I care. Of course this is a behaviour that is only going to increase the chances they'll dislike me anyway..! People like to be liked. There are people I like. I should communicate it more.
That's all. Only two flaws? Well, only two that I've picked out.
"It's very rare to find genuine self-knowledge. It's almost as if you need someone else to tell you who you are, or to hold up a mirror for you."
So I could ask someone who knows me quite well my flaws. But... I'm scared they would have some to tell me. I don't really want to hear it.
The party was lovelie, I liked everyone there.. but I don't know how I feel about sugarcubes anymore. Well.. it's bound to not affect a negative person in a positive way, right? It just makes me so awkward, so enormously uncomfortable.
Then again, maybe I just need to eat more.. biscuits with it next time.
