overocea | Entries tagged with random thought

Japan has a bunch of cultural phenomena that I am pretty miserable do not have counterparts in Australia. Surely any one of these would be immensely successful in Brisbane:

Onsen. My favourite part of my Japan trip was the ~48 hours spent moving from one enormous bath to another slightly different (temperature, minerals, setting) enormous bath, getting massages (or sitting in massage chairs watching movies/sleeping), drinking beer & eating food & watching performances & playing bishi bashi. There is a Korean bath house in the Gabba that Storm and I used to go to but it is a bit clinical and spartan and just has one warm bath and one cool.
Big giant multi-level internet cafes where you can browse or game or watch movies or read manga or sleep all night in the pods whilst doing all of the above and eating free ice cream.
Cat cafes. I would TOTALLY pay per fifteen minute allotments to cuddle and play with kittens.

In other news, Girl 1 moved into my apartment. Girl 3 decided to go to Paris instead, and lots of other people came through to look but I didn't particularly like any of them.

Currently I am reading (among other things) Pleasure by David J Linden. In it he mentions a study where obese and thin young women were put in a brain scanner while sipping chocolate milkshakes. They found that the obese women showed significantly less activation of pleasure centres in the brain ("blunted pleasure").. BUT when looking at the brain response when they were about to get the milkshake, the obese women showed greater activation. So they anticipated (craved) more reward but actually received less. Why is life so mean?

I have terrible vertigo today.. I was disturbed by it all last night whilst rolling about in my sleep. What does it mean? Pick one of a) inner ear infection or b) brain tumour. ...or c) Skyrim.

I have moved too Brisbane and Griffith University. in one week I will dissect a human brain. tooday is my mother's birthday.

my 2004 calendar is woeful! i've nothing too say for months.

one year ago: I can't help it, i'm a dread-head;
two years ago: anymore my brain's gone tough
three years ago: i'm talking to the aliens in my brain.
four years ago: behead the twelve white roses in the garden.

1. if I could fly I could fall from unimaginable height.
2. I need as many lungs as a tree needs leaves.
3. if i'd been born blind i'd think everyone was lying.
4. oh i wish, I wish I could have a nightmare. desperate but unsuccessful attempts at running, screaming but nothing comes out! it's right behind me, it's sucking me in, I know it's there but I can't see it, I can't move!
5. I retract everything i've ever said.
6. well, you can say whatever you like, as long as you touch me every ten minutes or so, or not object if I touch you every two!
7. how do you know sound exists?
8. too many people live in their mouths. but! everyone has a whole LIFE!
9. it's ok, I don't mind, if you want, it's up to you (antipathy, boredom, contempt, disdain).
10. listen, if you could just
pull up, plug up, overflow, undergo, go.
i'll pretend I never was until I never am.

just don't bother,
and don't bother me.

now is time to look away:

getaway

Current Mood: pink orange red. nowait, that's music.

things I love: in no particular order
ladybuggs
oilslick nailpolish
public transportation
underwater
sidewalks
circus&carousel ponies
other peoples' dreams
mismatched shoelaces
birds on cafe tables
watches with tiny faces
pineapple juice
the names of colours
making lists

thinking "how can something beautiful you see every day of your life remain as beautiful after a lifetime as the first time you saw it?" makes me feel sad. I shouldn't let such things make me sad. but then, people shouldn't let anything make them sad.

I collect cornered animals
feel like everything I say is an insult. well I move my mouth and words come out.
oh yeah, i'll be keeping this child in my womb forever.

alright!
I live in a city that if not for 100billion tourists avalanching through the airport every five minutes would not exist. as a consequence, every second store I pass in the street offers an abundance of glaringly corny postcards featuring the usual banal tourist attractions X 42958623586. rainforests/mountains/perfect white sandy beaches/great barrier reefs (reeves?)/naked sand-covered butts/cute fluffy little creatures that everyone not Australian thinks quite quirky and impossible and that maybe they don't exist at all but are a national joke like dropbears or those rabbits with antlers.

so anyway. stick your address in the darling little boxxx below and i'll send you a hideously tacky postcard, 'cause I like to do funny things like that with people I barely know and people I intensely know and people I don't know and people I know. you don't have to put your name if you don't want, and i'll make one up for you.

name:
address:

Current Mood: awake

I write this poem on public toilet stallwalls where-ever I go
(but in only pencil, because I am a thought-full graffiti-er):
smile smile smile smile
smile smile smile
smile smile smile smile smile smile smile
now I think every time I do, I will take a picture
and keep a collection of public toilet stallwall poems.

heart string tied hearts
they always kissed with their heart in their mouth, no wait
it was on their lips,
instead of their sleeves

in the Charlotte's Web animated movie, when Charlotte tells Wilbur "i'm languishing to tell you the truth,"
she says it like she doesn't know what it means, and with the wrong accents.
I picked that up when I was seven, because I ran off to look up "languishing," thinking, from the way she said it, it meant she had some horrendous secret to tell.

and I must be a small r romantic, for I found Jo's marriage to Mr Bhaer quite unsatisfactory. she should have remained alone forever, only to fall for Laurie decades too late, and pour her secret sorrow into a million brilliant and celebrated novels.

why is "the smell" on my interests list? what smell?
doused in alcohol, crimson and magenta, burnt mouth, grazed knees, whatever.

Current Mood: minded

throw stones all over the place lest they be thrown first at you!

reading the diary of a girl with a broken back hasn't made me feel any better.
I conceive every day!
when I am sad it feels like my heart is shivering. or maybe my lungs. something in my chest really shivers. i'm not being poetic. I HAVE A SAD, SHIVERING THING IN ME. I can only mention it because I am not presently sad.

you can spend money and life
money and life

money is an improved life
if you could buy life I wonder which would be more valuable
not that money exists without life

one life, a million lives
ph. nothing could take up more space than a million lives, or one

I think I need a second moon to pull me into line

I think I have overdo(s/z)ed on a boy, and now he follows me everywhere and I dreamt he left me. it makes me feel starving and I don't like it.
i'll drink the water. I apologise for my last entry.

Current Mood: chipper

I hate unbent knees. unbent knees are the ugliest piece of human.

it feels very strange to read the writings, or look at the paintings, or hear the music of a dead person, to me, because it feels as though it is being created right as I am reading or seeing or hearing it, even if it's for the thousandth time, and nothing can be created by a dead person, so they mustn't really be dead. however it also feels very strange to read the writings, look at the paintings or hear the music of a person who is still alive, and is far away in another country, sleeping or eating chinese food, or at the theatre or the beach or kissing their mother goodbye.

yeah so

I need to learn Latin just so I can read Ovid minus the ghastly translations:
But when good Saturn, banish'd from above,
Was driv'n to Hell, the world was under Jove.

Current Mood: compliant

livejournal. I haven't had anything to say to you, lately. I find you strange & despicable. maybe 'cause i'm sick, but you know, I doubt it. probably because I haven't had anything to say (fullstop). you know! went to the doctor again & she said I either have a virus or a brain tumour. I wonder if I get to choose. here is something I wrote down weeks & weeks ago:

people who are constantly sick are usually sad, generally sad. all the invalid mothers who die young aren't loved by their husbands; all the sickly, weak & undersized children aren't loved by their mothers. people who die from cancer have repressed negativity, probably throughout their entire lives! if I could step into the day & heave a giant breath of sunsparkling air, throw my shoulders back & everything off them!

I never finished the thought. the current one is that I probably won't be updating. indefinitely.

Current Mood: recumbent

I do stupid things like call people "my darling dear" and constantly flatter & profess my adoration for them, not realising that they can't know I do the same with everyone, that they think i'm giving them special attention & must want to have their babies. the fact is, the people I would actually weep miserably for if they were to die I don't really do those things with. someone said that makes me shallow.

what do I care what someone said?

Current Mood: drained

i'd just like to point out to every one that
NO ONE KNOWS ANYTHING.
so if you're some one & you think you know something, I assure you you don't.

cellulite & acne, lipstick mark, claw mark,
on the same cheek.

teeth marks, burns & scars, cuts & bruises, varicose veins, carpet burn, nappy rash, frostbite.

black eye = black heart/soul/lungs
black brain, black blood, black bones,
black head.

rupture, rift & rend. dead weight. suck in a breath.
?marks the spot.

I shudder to think.

& I added as a friend everyone with "unkempt hair" as an interest.
unkempt, unkept. bird's nest, wasps' nest. dishevelled, lost & alone, whirlwind, static electricity, my but you're dirty. come in & get warm, have some soup & a bath, i've some spare clothes & a spare bed.

I imagine the best thing ever is hugging someone who's wearing your clothes.

Current Mood: cold

the way i've been feeling has nothing to do with the grumpy bear staring at me.

...
i'm perfectly designed.
WHAT ARE WORDS FOR?

shaved my head the other day. mostly.

:) X 83
but I only have so many smiles in my lifetime so i'd betternotusethemup.

Current Mood: good

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
I lost my camera. I left it at the beach, on a coffee table made of sand and coffee.
I saw a mermaid jump out of a wave & grab it,
now she's taking pictures of giant squidds wearing anemone wiggs.

so I scanned my BUTT.
and.. and FUCK.

I'd asked an old man if he'd mind if I took a picture of the back of his neck.
and he got OFFENDED and stalked off.

so the last thing I took a picture of was a stupid brat
WHOSE OWN MOTHER CALLED HER A SLUT

and I coloured in my pictures from yesterday.
have to be